Reflections on 2020 are Fine I Guess
But for pete’s sake, look ahead with me
I almost cringe typing the words “2020 sure sucked, right?” but it really did, so I’ll just put it there and get it out of the way. I definitely believe 2021 will be better, and also believe most of us will agree to that.
My 2020 was defined by a new job for me, a college graduate, a high school graduate, a pandemic, less-than-terrific health, an exceptionally fun trip to NOLA, leaving my new job, sourdough, electing a new president, and a lot of wondering what to expect next.
Yes, I left my job at ICA Food Shelf a few weeks ago. It was a mixed-bag decision for me, but it came down to the fact that for the very near present, my family is benefitting from me being home and on watch while I pursue what’s next. Virtual learning stinks, and since I’ve proven my worth as school and home manager for many years in the past, it made sense.
Of course, I’ve immediately and continually questioned my decision, but I’m not going to lie, being home during Christmas and school break has been really nice. Karl, as always, has been so supportive and my kids have really appreciated my presence. But damn it, I’m a strong woman that threw off a religious cult, misogyny, denim jumpers and homeschooling; dusted off my college degree and went back to work and KICKED ASS. What on earth was I / am I thinking, not working???
What I’m thinking is it’s really temporary. As in, I’m already applying for jobs. My website is updated, my resume looks better, LinkedIn premium switched on, I’m on Indeed. January 4, 2021 is the go-time date to get busy and find a new job. I can’t wait to be back out there, working on a team of creative, collaborative, smart people.
I’ve learned a lot about what I want to do career-wise, and what I do not want to do. My list of questions to ask during an interview and red flags to sniff out have grown exponentially. Rather than reacting to needing a new job or wanting to leave a position that isn’t ideal, I need to approach the process with real purpose. I know what I’m good at, and what I like in a supervisor, workplace, culture, mission, and opportunities to learn and grow. Those things matter quite a lot.
2020 kicked all our asses when it comes to global pandemics, ugly politics, and racial injustice and social unrest. Each of those touched me personally and my family in so many ways, and we are all completely exhausted. Emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, financial – EXHAUSTED. It’s no joke being an empath and being surrounded by kids with high emotional intelligence. Thank goodness we all talk and talk and talk some more and keep that open communication going in our home.
The onward part: I’m going to get a great new job, March 1st being my deadline. I’ll happily keep serving on the boards of Women Who Really Cook and the Excelsior Rotary. My kids’ schools have a phased-in plan for getting back to the classroom. My second born heads to the military in the spring. Elsa is applying to colleges, and will have an epic graduation party here in June. We’ve got some trips tentatively in our thoughts (please, please). Garden plans include building a pergola and expanding everything in general. Just for giggles, I’m letting my hair go gray and am working on changing my mind about my worth when it comes to my health and wellness.
My god I’m tired. But I’m so grateful for so many things. My mom is safe, isolated and relatively healthy. She’s on her own journey into dementia and it’s difficult to watch, again. She misses my dad terribly, but stubbornly clings to her house and her independence. I’m glad I can help keep her going. My kids are so strong, they’ll be ok. Karl continues to be unwavering and unflinching in his support of all of us. Next time you see him, give him a hug. He carries us all really well. Alright, don’t hug because covid, but just give him a high five.
On January 20, 2021, I’ll have my eyes and heart glued to the television. I will cry and cheer and feel proud, once again, to be an American. Like waking from a long, fitful and troubled sleep. America has always been great, fact.
From there, it will only get better. Join me in believing this and moving with purpose toward it all.